As a child, my developing mind could be characterised as a rabbit warren of fantasy and confusion. In my adolescence I became fragile, depressed and obsessive compulsive. I became introduced to voices in my head that wanted to destroy me and make me suffer in the process.
In my recovery, I spent years asking myself how I could stop being this way, getting angrier at myself for having a hard time.
It’s taken a lot of growth, but I have learned that what I really needed to do was remind myself of the fundamental things I care about. God and His love, the value of the human experience, truth. Somewhere along the line, those things have made me want to give something of myself to the world. I want to nurture and I want to love. They’re what motivate me to be an actor.
Attempting to appease the inner critic by overloading yourself with agendas and demands never works. Years of recovery has taught me that compassion is the greatest healer - nurturing compassion for yourself through compassion for others. It’s truly the only way to honor those fundamentals I believe in rather than the taskmaster in my mind.